🖤 THE HEARTPACK RELATIONSHIP SURVIVAL GUIDE
For Real Love, Real Growth, and Real Connection
By Allen Dekeyser
🔍 Truth #1: What You See Ain’t Always What’s Real
When your partner does something that triggers you, pause. Ask:
“What’s really going on inside them?”
And just as important:
“What script am I running right now that I haven’t reprogrammed yet?”
Pain shows up in weird ways. Defensive silence. Sarcasm. Avoidance. Blame. But it’s often unspoken fear or hurt underneath. Be brave enough to look deeper — in both of you.
⚖️ Truth #2: Stop Trying to Win
“If I win this argument, but we lose us… what did I really win?”
Start checking your motive. Is it truth you’re after? Or control? Are you protecting your heart… or just your ego?
Drop the performance. Get real instead. That’s where real healing starts.
🗣 Truth #3: Know What Kind of Talk You’re Having
Every convo isn’t a courtroom. Every disagreement doesn’t need a verdict.
Ask yourself before diving in:
Am I venting or solving?
Do I want support or input?
Is this about us, or is it just about me needing to be heard right now?
Let your partner know what lane you’re in so they can show up the right way.
💬 Truth #4: Speak the Unsaid
Real love needs real honesty. Don’t hide what matters. If you feel something, say it. Don’t expect your partner to be psychic.
And don’t blame them for not guessing the needs you never voiced. That’s not fair.
Use words like:
“What I really need right now is…”
“I’m scared to say this, but…”
“This is hard to admit, but it matters to me…”
🛠 Truth #5: Repair Before You Repeat
When you mess up (and you will — we all do), don’t dodge it.
Say what you did.
Acknowledge how it hurt them.
Say you’re sorry.
Ask how you can make it right.
Then — follow through like it matters, because it does.
⏳ Truth #6: Practice Being a Safe Place
Love that lasts is love that feels safe.
Can your partner make a mistake and still be loved by you?
Can you own your wounds without them using it against you?
If the answer is yes — that’s power. If not, it’s time to build that kind of safety — together.
🔄 Truth #7: Youx Gotta Relearn Play
If everything is always serious, it gets heavy fast.
Laugh. Tease. Be ridiculous. Start tickle wars. Watch stupid movies. Send memes.
Why?
Because connection isn’t just built in breakdowns. It’s built in belly laughs and dumb moments too.
💡 Final Thought:
You don’t need a perfect relationship. Just a real one.
Where both people are willing to grow, own their junk, stay curious, and come back to love.
Again. And again. And again.
🖤 THE HEARTPACK RELATIONSHIP SURVIVAL GUIDE
For Real Love, Real Growth, and Real Connection
By Allen Dekeyser
🔍 Truth #1: What You See Ain’t Always What’s Real
When your partner does something that triggers you, pause. Ask:
“What’s really going on inside them?”
And just as important:
“What script am I running right now that I haven’t reprogrammed yet?”
Pain shows up in weird ways. Defensive silence. Sarcasm. Avoidance. Blame. But it’s often unspoken fear or hurt underneath. Be brave enough to look deeper — in both of you.
⚖️ Truth #2: Stop Trying to Win
“If I win this argument, but we lose us… what did I really win?”
Start checking your motive. Is it truth you’re after? Or control? Are you protecting your heart… or just your ego?
Drop the performance. Get real instead. That’s where real healing starts.
🗣 Truth #3: Know What Kind of Talk You’re Having
Every convo isn’t a courtroom. Every disagreement doesn’t need a verdict.
Ask yourself before diving in:
Am I venting or solving?
Do I want support or input?
Is this about us, or is it just about me needing to be heard right now?
Let your partner know what lane you’re in so they can show up the right way.
💬 Truth #4: Speak the Unsaid
Real love needs real honesty. Don’t hide what matters. If you feel something, say it. Don’t expect your partner to be psychic.
And don’t blame them for not guessing the needs you never voiced. That’s not fair.
Use words like:
“What I really need right now is…”
“I’m scared to say this, but…”
“This is hard to admit, but it matters to me…”
🛠 Truth #5: Repair Before You Repeat
When you mess up (and you will — we all do), don’t dodge it.
Say what you did.
Acknowledge how it hurt them.
Say you’re sorry.
Ask how you can make it right.
Then — follow through like it matters, because it does.
⏳ Truth #6: Practice Being a Safe Place
Love that lasts is love that feels safe.
Can your partner make a mistake and still be loved by you?
Can you own your wounds without them using it against you?
If the answer is yes — that’s power. If not, it’s time to build that kind of safety — together.
🔄 Truth #7: Youx Gotta Relearn Play
If everything is always serious, it gets heavy fast.
Laugh. Tease. Be ridiculous. Start tickle wars. Watch stupid movies. Send memes.
Why?
Because connection isn’t just built in breakdowns. It’s built in belly laughs and dumb moments too.
💡 Final Thought:
You don’t need a perfect relationship. Just a real one.
Where both people are willing to grow, own their junk, stay curious, and come back to love.
Again. And again. And again.
