🗣 Communication Techniques Quick-Reference Guide

1. “When this happens, I feel…”

Avoid “You always” or “You never.” Those shut people down. Stick to clear, non-blaming language.

2. “I would like…”

Express your needs without controlling.

✔ “I’d like more help.”

✘ “You should help more.”

3. “I feel angry…” (Not you’re making me angry)

Name the feeling without attacking. If you need to step away, own the return to the conversation.

4. “This is a challenge for me…”

Be honest. Vulnerability during hard talks builds connection more than silence does.

5. “I think ___ and I feel ___.”

Don’t confuse thoughts with feelings. Saying “I feel like you don’t care” is actually a thought. Use both.

6. “I feel ___.” (No blaming)

Don’t say “You make me feel…” That gives away your emotional power. Just say how you feel.

7. “I was wrong.”

If you messed up—say it. No excuses. No blame-shifting.

8. “I’m sorry.”

A genuine apology opens the door to healing. No “but” attached.

9. “It’s great you’re letting this out.”

Don’t try to fix their feelings. Support their expression instead.

10. “You can be upset with me.”

Let them feel what they feel. Then ask to hear their side, and offer yours.

11. Set boundaries, not threats.

A boundary is what you will do if disrespect continues. It’s not a demand. It’s self-respect in action.

12. “I’m happy you want to grow with me.”

Feedback isn’t an attack. If it’s delivered badly, address the delivery after reflecting on the truth in it.

13. “Let’s examine both sides.”

Mutual blame solves nothing. Take responsibility for your part. Ask them to do the same.