Rule #1

Catch the Critic in the Act.

Your inner critic is sneaky. It hides behind thoughts like “I’m just being honest” or “I should know better.” Start noticing that voice. Is it shaming you? Is it helping? Call it out, even if just in your head. “There it is again—that voice that sounds like fear pretending to be truth.”

Rule #4

Interrupt the loop.

Don’t just sit there and let it play like a bad radio station. Stand up. Splash water on your face. Say out loud “Nope, not today.” Write it down and challenge it. Use motion or voice to break the automatic tape in your brain.

Rule #7

Build a truth-based self-identity.

Start defining yourself by what’s real, not what the critic says. “I am healing. I am courageous. I don’t quit. I love deeply. I grow from pain.” Write these truths down. Post them. Live them.

Heal the Inner Critic: Quick Reference Sheet

Rule #2

Talk to yourself like someone you love.

You wouldn’t tell your best friend “You’re worthless.” So why do you let yourself say it to you? Replace harshness with truth-based compassion: “This is hard, but I’m learning. I’m not behind—I’m on my way.”

Rule #5

Celebrate micro-wins like they’re championships.

Your critic hates progress—it only sees perfection. Flip the script. Did you speak kindly to yourself once today? That’s a win. Did you pause before reacting? Another win. Stack your wins. You’re becoming the person you needed when you were hurting.

Rule #3

Name the wound underneath the voice.

Inner critics are often echoes from old pain—trauma, rejection, perfectionism. Ask: “Who did I first hear this from?” or “What am I afraid will happen if I fail?” Name it. When you bring truth to the surface, shame starts to lose its grip.

Rule #6

Don’t outsource your worth.

You don’t need someone else to agree with you before you’re allowed to feel confident. Validation from others is icing—but your cake is already good. Tell yourself: “Even if nobody claps, I’m proud of me.”

Your healing isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming free.